Jason
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Clue for the clueless
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Currently languishing in the wastelands of Illinois, near the hamlet of Chicago, Jason has taken his personal goal of achieving true geekdom and somehow made a living out of it. While on the job he even managed to acquire some powers as a service provider when a lightning bolt from a freak storm fused his spiritual energy with the knowledge of UNIX, IP routing and high-speed network connectivity. It just goes to show you that flagpole sitting in the Windy City with various O'Reilly books in your lap during the middle of tornado season probably isn't the best idea.

Fate decided that he needed to use his powers for evil.

The catalyst fate chose was an odd combination of coffee, mythos, and old friends from long ago and far away (7 years and Minnesota, respectively). Although he cannot recall exactly when he encountered Melissa, he does recall that it either had something to do with lousy movies or ferrets, or possibly some combination of both. [Editor's note: there may have also been bocci balls involved as well, but my memory is foggy after the concussion.] Records from this period of the Dark Ages are incomplete. However, it is known that the bond of friendship was completed between the two in a place of true horror and evil: the Mall of America, not far from Camp Snoopy, during a get-together in the mid 1990s.

When Melissa came to him with the idea of Cthulhu Coffee, he was instantly taken by the madness of it and started to contribute slogans for the project. Not long after he volunteered disk space and bandwidth on one of the many servers that reside in his apartment as a home for Cthulhu Coffee's official website. Database and world-wide-web integration programming ensued, resulting not only in Jason entering an even more profoundly disturbed mental state but a new set of website features for Cthulhu Coffee, most notably the random slogan on the main page. Further enhancements are constantly being worked on, although often at a snail's pace.

Regrettably, due to the damage done to his psyche by contemplating slogans and coding SQL statements into something a webserver can understand, Jason is no longer fit to walk freely in society. This quarantine has prevented him from entering his native state to attend Convergence or any number of other Cthulhu-related events. Rumors abound that Jason no longer retains a corporeal form but has instead fused himself with his computers and lives a shadowy life in the digital underworld, corrupting diskettes and encouraging Windows machines to lock up right before important documents are saved.

The Crew
Melissa
Web Minion and Editor in Chief

Ted
Vice-Web-Minion

Rick
Slogan Wizard

Sharon
Rick Managment

Jason
Code Warrior and Server Guru

Dan
Idea Mill

Guy
Research Division

Paul
Caterer

Don
Film Referentialist

Kyle
Undersea Studies

Jeff
Brainstorm Weatherman

Mike
Slogan-Meister

Support Team
Benji
Chris H.
Christopher J.
Eric
George
James
Jason B.
Jen
Jim
Lisa
Mark
Pete
Rob
Sarah
Tadao

Fol'Juurs
Guardian of the Cup

Cth'Harvey
Mascot

In Brief

11252006:
First update in two years! Unfortunately, the update says that this site will no longer be updated. Click here for more details.

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