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I'm sure you are just aching for information of what we are up to. Well, this is the place where the humble web minion spills her guts on what is new and hopefully exciting on and off the website.

News Archives: 2000 | 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004

06082003: Look! News!

There is a new version of H. P. Lovecraft's "The Unnamable" currently being filmed in Germany, under first-time director Sascha Renninger. The project is intended to be the most faithful Lovecraft adaptation ever. The movie is being shot on 16mm film stock, with English dialogue, American actors, and a shoestring indie budget. The trailer is online at

The movie is 2/3rds finished, and additional talent and funding is necessary to complete the project. More information can be found at

02222003: This year is shaping up to be pretty damn good in the geek world. The movie theaters are looking forward to opening a host of superhero and horror titles, the bookstores are receiving new Lovecraftian goodness, the toy aisles are finding a beach-bound Cthulhu lurking in their midst, and cartoonists are catching on to the idea that Cthulhu has a sense of humor. Want the scoop on this stuff? Read on, my friends and fiends!

First of all, Toy Vault has been very good to us Lovecraft fans in the past by giving us hoardes of stuffed Cthulhus of all sizes and color schemes. Now they offer us two, count 'em, two fine plush companions for the summer season! If you dare, have a look at their cuddly Nyarlathotep and their Summer Fun Cthulhu.

The comic stores have been enjoying a Lovecraftian rush, as well. Take a look at the new Kolchak: The Night Stalker: Fever Pitch comic (penciled by our very own Christopher), as well as this new graphic Lovecraft adaptation (with an introduction by Gahan Wilson, baby!).

Online artists have also been churning out a lot of fun stuff. Have a look at these fine offerings:

  • How to give Cthulhu kisses, from the furry comic Jack.
  • A line drawing of Cthulhu has a pimp can be found here.
  • MacHall has been having some fun with the Great Eldritch horror. There is even a desktop wallpaper available from this comic.
  • And, last but certainly not least, a fabulous new comic named Monkey and Cthulhu. If you click on any of these links, make sure you click on this one.

And, finally, the scoop on GEEK MOVIES! Take a gander at this lineup for 2003:


  • RATS! Millions of RATS! On March 14th, the re-make of Willard hits theaters, starring the freak of nature named Crispin Glover.
  • On March 21st, the new Stephen King opus will strike the screen. It's only Dreamcatcher, but check out the credits: directed by Lawrence Kasdan, and starring Morgan Freeman and Jason Lee. It just might be a spring phenomenon, especially since it sounds like Freeman is playing the bad guy for once.
  • March 28th gives us The Core. Have you seen the previews for this obvious piece of crap? Yeah, Hillary Swank somehow got pulled into this project, which is about how the Earth's core decides to stop rotating and doom mankind. The script looks unbelievably bad. I mean, gouge-your-eyes-out bad. Like the sort of bad where people rent the film just to laugh at it. You never know -- it might be the comedy gold mine of the spring.


  • Phone Booth finally gets released on April 4th. The plot sounds like the ultimate in Hitchcockian thrillers: a guy trapped in a phone booth for a day, with a sniper rifle pointed at his head. The cast sounds even better: award magnet Kiefer Sutherland, uber-cool Colin Farrell, and the ever-likable Forrest Whitaker. But it's directed by Joel Schumacher. Why the fuck do they keep letting that hack direct movies? He's killed more franchises than anyone on the planet. Hopefully, though, Phone Booth will be one of Schumacher's Tigerland anomalies.
  • April 11th, House of a 1000 Corpses finally gets let out of the can. Yes, that is Rob Zombie's pet project, which was shelved for about three years while Zombie and Lion's Gate tangles over ratings and things. We've seen it already, and, unfortunately, it's not very good at all. Yet fans of Mr. Zombie will flock to the film.
  • April 18th: Jeepers Creepers 2. The first film was fantastic for the first half hour, then it slammed into the ground like a doomed 747. Hopefully, Victor Salva learned a little from the first film and makes this one into the character-driven creepfest that the first one started out as.
  • April 25th looks good... Identity just might be the sleeper creeper of the spring. Ray Liotta and John Cusack star in a movie about ten people trapped in a hotel room during a storm. One by one, they die. Yes, it's Ten Little Indians redux, but word is that the script and directing are both very good.


  • X-Men 2 gets unleashed on the box office on May 2. This thing is going to be a juggernaut -- it will genuinely be a shock if it's not good. Indie talent Bryan Singer returns to the director's chair, and the fabulous cast from the first film is joined by Alan Cumming (one of the greatest character actors ever) as Nightcrawler. The word from insiders is also extremely good. This puppy is going to rock.
  • May 16th is also a day to mark on the calendar. This is the day that Matrix Reloaded will give X-Men 2 a run for its money. Can the Wachowski brothers do it again? Will the trademarks of the original Matrix film, which have been aped to death by now, seem hokey? Or will this new entry push the envelope even futher and begin another whole new generation of sexy sci-fi? Whatever happens, it will make money hand over fist.
  • May 30th. Finding Nemo. Pixar's fifth film. Do I really need to say more? Given Pixar's golden track record, this is going to appeal to everyone.


  • The Hulk will smash into view on June 20th. Ang Lee will apply his Crouching Tiger directorial kung-fu to this beloved anti-hero. The cast is good: Eric Bana and the Oscar-winning Jennifer Connelly join together to bring this story the gravity it needs. However, much of the believability of the film will rely on the CGI Hulk. It could be good. It could be laughable. We'll see.


  • On July 2nd, we will explore the territory of Sequels That Probably Didn't Need To Be Made. Yes, Terminator 3 will be here, with a robot chick this time, and no Linda Hamilton.
  • July 11th is when The League of Extraordinary Gentleman finds screen time. Fans of the comic will likely gouge their eyes out, because it sounds like substantial liberties have been taken. But Sean Connery is in it, which almost guarantees that it will make at least some money.
  • The Exorcist gets yet another sequel on July 18th. Exorcist: The Beginning has very little going for it other than its name, yet it is actually going back to the original storyline. The film will cover events mentioned in the first film, wherein Father Merrin exorcises a demon from a young boy in Africa.


  • You slasher fans will be all a-giggle on August 15th. Freddy vs. Jason, baby! Aw, yeah! Machetes and knives! It will probably be utter crap, but you never know. The potential for great bloody fun is there.
  • On August 19th... Leeches! No, I'm not kidding. Killer leeches! I don't care how good or bad it is. I'll pay good matinee money to see leeches suck college co-eds dry.


  • The long-awaited Once Upon A Time In Mexico will pop up on September 12th. As the sequel to the low-budget classics El Mariachi and Desperado, helmed by Robert Rodrigues himself, this flick just might top its beloved predecessors. Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek both return to the franchise, but this time, they are joined by the likes of Johnny Depp, Willem Dafoe, and Michael Rourke. This will likely be the camp/cult classic of the year.
  • LOVECRAFT ALERT! September 23rd, Beyond Re-Animator will finally be released. We've been waiting for this film for three years. Bring it on, baby.


  • October 10th is when Quentin Tarantino's long-awaited chop-socky flick, Kill Bill, will scramble our pop culture brains. Uma Thurman stars in the film, and in the trailers, she looks like some sort of female reincarnation of Bruce Lee, jumpsuit and all. It might be another modern classic, and it might be laughable. However, it is almost certain that fists and feet will fly as fast as Tarantino's snappy dialogue.
  • October 17th is probably a day to wear black. Someone apparently thought it was a good idea to re-make The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
  • Gothika, which is apparently a no-name ghost story flick, will be released on October 24th.


  • Kevin Smith's adoring fans will flock with glee to theaters on November 7th, for that is the day that Jersey Girl will be released. It could be another Chasing Amy. If anything, it's not likely to suck.
  • Unfortunately for Jersey Girl, November 7th is also the day that Matrix Revolutions hits the screens. Unless Matrix Reload really, really stinks, this film will be an early-winter juggernaut.
  • November 26th will probably be a day to go back to the theater to watch Matrix Revolutions again. This is the day that Disney releases its Haunted Mansion film. It could have had potential, but they cast Eddie Murphy in the damn thing. It movie is going to be wrong-headed as all hell.


  • December 17th is when the Holy Grail of the Geek Movie Year gets unleashed unto the drooling masses of slavish fans. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King will complete Peter Jackson's unprecedented magnum opus. I can only hope that this will be the day that George Lucas eats his own heart out. Early word (yes, I do know someone who has already seen the film THAT BLOODY BASTARD...) is that the first two movies were only hinting at the sheer scale, majesty, and drama that the third film will unleash. Gimmee.

01042003: Happy New Year! I believe Don said it best when he sent me the following note on the holiday:

Happy Happy F*ckin' New Year.  David Warner Rocks, but Ron Perlman is the friggin' Man.  Perl-friggin-man.  You heard me.

While it is true that either David Warner or Ron Perlman is The Man, Jeffrey Combs is most undoubtably also The Man, at least in part. Perhaps he's The Man in Waiting, The Man Lurking in The Corner, or something of the sort.

And, really, what is better than seeing Jeffrey Combs play Herbert West?

You heard me. Yes, it's true: Beyond Re-Animator is here.

You don't believe me? Feast your eyes upon this Spanish web site, which offers up TWO Beyond Re-Animator trailers: Filmax International.

Happy re-animating!

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