The News in 2000
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The year 2000 was certainly eventful, especially since it was the first full year that we were in operation. In case you missed our adventures and mishaps, here they are in all their supposed glory.

News Archives: 2000 | 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2006

12182000 Oo, look! It hasn't even been a week yet, and I'm already doing another update! Actually, it's nothing big, but Paul brought this little giblet to my attention. Remember my experiment on [Eds. note 10/19/01: Link is dead and has been pulled.]? There is now a nifty parody: Go have a gander! (Sorry, I'm not going to do another experiment. I KNOW I'm not Goth... way too tan, even though I'm a German-stock Minnesotan. And I definitely don't have that waif thing going for me...)

12142000 Lotsa news today, kids!

Cthulhu himself has been recently spotted by Jason in various cartoons found on Go take a look.

Cephalopod Collection 121400The Cephalopod Collection has been growing in leaps and bounds. Yesterday, I went to The Source in St. Paul to get a Christmas gift for Sharon, and lo and behold, I was greeted by a plush creation by Toy Vault: a rather detailed stuffed plush of the Elder God himself. Of course, I had to let him follow me home. You don't deny the Elder Gods.

Plush Cthulhu's addition to the Cephalopod Collection follows rather quickly behind my Christmas gift from Paul, a HUGE octopus plush he found at the Mall of Doom, er, America. The immense stuffed creation was created by JLI. I think we're calling her Sophie (the Cephalopod... rim shot, please).

Anyway, at right you can see most of the Cephalopod Collection sprawling on my couch. The missing members, Cth'Harvey and Cuddly Cthulhu, are both doing Christmas tree duty at Ted's house. Sophie's the big one. Opie, the Greek Coca Cola octopus, is in the photo, but is almost completely hidden in one of Sophie's tentacles at far right. The green one in the back is Plush Cthulhu. The one on Sophie's head is the puppet from Chicago -- I think I'm calling him Facehugger. The orange one in the back is Misu (from the Discovery Store). The three little ones in the front are the Ty triplets.

Now that I'm done boring you with that, I'll go on to better things, like the Necronomicon. I went to Suncoast yesterday and spend a lot of money I don't have on filling out my DVD collection with lots of discounted Jackie Chan flicks. Lo and behold (it was a good day yesterday), the Evil Dead II special edition DVD is out, and of course, I had to own it (I'm a greedy little creature, aren't I?). I HIGHLY recommend it for any Sam Raimi/Bruce Campbell/gore effects/Evil Dead aficionados out there. The featurette on the disc, as well as the commentary track, make it more than worth the price of admission. I was laughing so hard I was in tears... Apparently, has it for $17.00, which is a lot less than I paid at Suncoast.

Speaking of Evil Dead, the horror video game trade's Holy Grail is upcoming: Hail to the King is nearing it's shipping date. is the info center; check there for .wav files, commercials, interviews with Bruce Campbell, etc. All hail Bruce!

And speaking of Bruce Campbell, there's a nifty interview with him on, an ubercool sci-fi/horror media site run by one Harry Knowles (who incidentally is going to be a guest of honor again at CONvergence next year).

And speaking of ubercool sites, I suggest for a good belly laugh. Delivered in 30 minutes, or they commit seppuku.

And one last thing. Happy Holidays from Cthulhu Coffee.

11172000 Well, Cthulhu Coffee went to see what WindyCon was all about. Click here to read the tale. (Warning: it ain't complimentary.)

On a lighter note, there is another addition to the Cephalopod Collection: an octopus puppet made by Folkmanis. I'll post photos of the whole family once I get my digital camera working again. Our new arrival followed us all the way back from Chicago.

10142000 I love surfing. I find the neatest things.

Today's find is a Canadian Dr. Who fan page that, oddly enough, includes an excellent account (and several photos) of CONvergence 2000. In fact, it's much better than mine because these guys didn't stay in the Cthulhu Coffee room the whole time (although Mr. Wilcox does admit to merrily plinking coins into our Jar-Jar Jar). The report covers many more features of the CON that I did not necessarily get to enjoy this year.

So, again, here is my account (boring), and here is The Celestial "Who"ligans' convention report (much better).

10122000 I have discovered something completely vile, horrible, and evil on the web. It is called [Eds. note 10/19/01: Link is dead and has been pulled.]. The gist is that you submit your photo and other net users rate your image on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being Hot, 1 being Not), and you go out and rate others likewise. The critics are vicious (most people rate an average score of 3 or below), and its a sad, demeaning thing, but once you start rating people, it gets addictive. It's evil. Try it.

So, scientist that I am, I decided to submit myself as a lab animal and see how I rated against our mascot, Cth'Harvey. Am I hotter than a stuffed octopus? Are tentacles turn-ons? The results as follows:

Rating: 3.3

Hmm, maybe a bit too academic...


Better, but no cigar.


Okay, things are looking up.



10112000 I have finally registered, .net, and .org. In 2-3 days, the new domain names will permeate the web and will be fully functional. One step closer to world domination! Moohoohahahaha!

10012000 Yippee! The Cthulhu Coffee mugs are here! Send me an e-mail if you want one!

I also heartily suggest checking out the SPONGE web site. The site is a teaser site for a new Lovecraftian television series, and it is massively fun. Make sure you sign up as a Historian!

09192000 Two months without an update?!? What the hell have I been doing? May the creeping horrors eat my brain!

Yes, it's true. Ted and I have confirmation that we will indeed be defiling, er, attending WindyCon. We won't have a cabana or room party, but you can look for us in our keen Cthulhu Coffee polo shirts, and if you ask nice, we might be able to sell you a coffee mug out of the back of my crusty old Honda Civic.

There have also been two new arrivals to the Cephalopod Collection (photos coming shortly). The first is the identical twin to the last addition, the second Ty attempt at an octopus (my dad has once again been looking out for me, so this little cephalopod arrived via UPS with a loving note attached: "Gotta keep Ted on his toes. -Dad"). Neat! 'pod clones!

The second Cephalopod Collection addition is a keen orange stuffed octopus from the Discovery Channel store, made by Wild Republic. This one is apparently named Misu (as the tag proclaims) and sports two extra long tentacles, tipped with velcro, for the purpose of wrapping around and clinging to things. A very cool stuffed toy. Cheap, too. Only eight bucks.

There may be soon yet another addition to the cephalopod collection, but I do not yet have the money to stake my claim. There is a salt-and-pepper shaker set at The Afternoon, made of hand-blown glass, in the shape of two nautiluses (Or is it nautili? What the heck is the plural of nautilus?). Super uber-cool, anyway.

We recently sold out of the Cthulhu Coffee mugs! Mea culpa! But I just placed an order for another 50, so we should be stocked up again sometime next week.

Oh, and I just picked up a copy of Flash 5. (Insert image here of the robot from Lost in Space: "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!") (Now insert sound of Daffy Duck's diabolical laughter: "Moohoohahahaha!") (Now imagine a long-needed facelift to the Cthulhu Coffee site.)

07112000 CONvergence 2000 was a resounding success. If you really, really want to hear the gory details, here they are.

06202000 I know. I'm a bad web minion. No news for almost four months! However, I shall try to somewhat absolve myself by saying that one month of that was spent in sunny Spain, helping map two archeological sites. How better than to look for Cthulhu material than by entering the shady interior of a Visigothic church? Or amid the tiles of a Roman mosaic? Or in a 6-meter-deep pit full of crumbled bones? Ah, Spain.

So, here's a whole glut of evilness from Cthulhu Coffee.

First of all, CONvergence nears, and Cthulhu Coffee will be there. We will be holding a party on the main floor, right next to the pool, in between Club Adventure and Callahan's on one side, and Club Neo Tokyo and The Dr. Who Viewing Society on the other. There is talk that Cthulhu Coffee will be sitting in on a panel or two, but that is not confirmed yet. The Cthulhu Coffee room will be rocking from 6 PM - midnight on both 7/7 and 7/8, and also from 9 AM - Noon on 7/8 for the obligatory Saturday Morning Live-Action Cthulhu Cartoons (translation: Re-Animator with Pop Tarts). The room party will feature, of course, coffee and select foods (there is talk of calamari), as well as the Cthulhu Coffee Crew in fetching black polo shirts.

Secondly, I am pleased to announce that there should be Cthulhu Coffee mugs and shirts available for sale at CONvergence, and later on this site. Yay!

Third, there is talk of a third Re-Animator film, with the original crew that we all know and love. Check the Internet Movie Database for the details as they arise.

Fourth, a new cephalopod has joined my cephalopod collection. Yes, Ty once again has released an octopus toy, this time much less cute and much more accurate than their original pink-toned attempt.

I will be adding more animations soon (after I improve the compression), and probably improving the images that are already there, but have a look anyway. I hope you like it.

02252000 Happy birthday to me! In celebration of my birthday, Ted had, unbeknownst to me, reserved a table for 12 at Sherlock's Home, a wonderful local restaurant and microbrewery. This fabulous surprise party was attended by the whole Cthulhu Coffee crew (except Mike), my dad, stepmother, aunt, uncle, and various friends. The best gift, of course, was having a great dinner with friends and family, but I was also treated to a new cephalopod for my cephalopod collection. My father had found the retired octopus Beanie Baby. I initially had my doubts about adding a Ty product to the elite cephalopod collection, but I quickly decided that there are few things as nefarious as a stuffed pink octopus bearing a heart-shaped tag, crazed eyes, and a grin.

02232000 I just got a wonderfully nefarious idea.

Coming soon: Cthulhudance. Tentacled things eat that damn "hampster" to the whistling of a mad piper.

Am I cracked, or is it cool? Let me know.

02182000 Okay, it's 12:22 AM, and the logo revamp is done. I know the new letters just don't have the personality of the old ones, but I don't care for litigation. What do you think? Does it look good, er, evil? Let me know! The old words looked like this (only they had a better-quality graphic):

02172000 I am rather pleased to bring a plethora of news items to the site today!

First of all, I am excited by the requests for Cthulhu Coffee buttons and posters. I'm sorry about the wait for them, but I do have to make the things by hand. I'll just go flog myself and mail them in a day or two.

Secondly, there will be a minor redesign of our beloved logo. Our Cthulhu image will likely remain the same, but the font will change. This is to avoid any problems with Caribou Coffee, since we did originally take a lot of cues from their logo for the purpose of parody. I personally don't feel like being sued for trademark infringement, especially not by a company that I actually respect. (By the way, Caribou Coffee is quite good.)

Third, I am pleased to announce that it is official! Cthulhu Coffee will have a room party at CONvergence 2000 in St. Paul, Minnesota. Come be caffeinated with us! More details later.

Next, we have located another Cthulhu Coffee appreciator at [Eds. note 10/19/01: has been appropriated by a cypersquatter, and the link has been pulled. Alternately, visit for the current project helmed by the same gentleman.]. In a bizarre state of vanity, I heard that our site was linked from there, and I naturally went to check it out. I was tickled to find a very interesting, hugely informational site dedicated to anthropomorphism. If you have ever wondered what happens when you cross animals in clothes with agronomy degree, then you should probably see this.

Last, Cthulhu Coffee is now contributing to the Cthulhu WebRing newsletter. More on that next week.

That is all for now, not because of a lack of things to say, but more because of a need to check on the shoggoth we have chained in the basement...

02082000 I was working at my nice little desk job today when I suddenly got a phone call from a very excited Ted.

"I'm watching Batman," he intoned, meaning the ubercool animated series, "and guess who the voice of The Scarecrow is?"

I thought a moment and then remembered that Roddy McDowall is dead, so I said, "I give up. Who?"

"JEFFREY COMBS! I recognized him right away!"

So it seems our dear Herbert West has turned to a life of cartoon voices, joining the ranks of Mark Hamil, Kevin Spacey and Jeremy Irons in the industry that makes us stop and go, "My God, who IS that? I can't quite place the voice..."

Of course, this means we all must watch more Batman.

Electoral Collage, from The Brunching Shuttlecocks.01292000 I had a dream last night that I had found new cephalopods for my stuffed cephalopod collection, but alas, it was not to be. Instead, Rutger Hauer grabbed a gun and chased me through the streets of St. Paul and my old high school. I wonder what Freud would say.

I am tickled pink to say that there has been some interest in Cthulhu Coffee promotional items. Unfortunately, we don't have much outside of the buttons at the moment (which come in lurid green and yellow colors), but we are currently negotiating prices for polo shirts, jackets, hats, temporary tattoos and the long-awaited coffee mugs. E-mail us and let us know what you are interested in! We are cold and lonely up here in the Great White North.

Electoral Collage, from The Brunching Shuttlecocks.01282000 I got a couple lovely campaign images from The Brunching Shuttlecocks. Their site has the best toys.

01132000 Mea culpa! (Or is it mia culpa?) I finally fixed all the spelling errors on the site. I am so embarrassed at my nasty misspellings. I even misspelled Nyarlathotep. Twice. Bad web minion, bad!

Oh, yeah, and I also added two more summaries to the Lovecraft Story Summaries page ("Cool Air" and "The Shunned House").

01112000 I was immensely pleased today to find an e-mail from Chaosium in my mail box, bestowing their blessings on our humble Cthulhu Coffee site and projects. Whoopee! We will begin making coffee mugs and polo shirts for our fans and members!

Also, Chaosium has sold out of all five colors of Cuddly Cthulhu dolls. But do not despair; I hear that they will make more this summer.

01112000 I am pleased to announce that my stuffed cephalopod collection has reached the magic prime number of three. The new addition is a small beanbag octopus manufactured by the Coca Cola company. One tentacle cradles a Coke bottle and another bears the flag of Greece. Coca Cola named him Oppie or something like that, but I will have to thing of something better. I don't want Cth'Harvey or Cuddly Cthulhu to beat him up.

01052000 I was surprised and pleased to stumble across a web site sporting a link to Cthulhu Coffee: Drutopia, which is coincidentally run by a very entertaining friend of mine (one that was present for my Halloween head-shaving event, during which I shaved Vanilla Ice-like lightning bolts in the sides of my head).

At the moment, there is a small error in the link from Drutopia: the link goes directly to, which bypasses my frames and sidebar and makes this site a bitch to navigate. If you have come here from Drutopia and don't see a cool sidebar with tentacles and blinking eyes, click this link: That should fix things.

01012000 I was at a party for the infamous Y2K debacle, a suspiciously evil event, the largest anticlimax in my memory. We poured champagne, we counted backwards, we toasted the New Year, and nothing happened. So we found the Discovery Channel and watched Komodo dragons chase Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter and professional lunatic.

12301999 I am adding a To Do list to the site so that I can actually hold myself accountable for the stuff that is supposed to happen here. Maybe I'll get it done faster. If you care, click here to see my To Do list.

12301999 Cthulhu Coffee has just joined the Cthulhu WebRing. Now you can navigate through some 200 Cthulhu sites from our humble page. Make sure to check out WWCD (What Would Cthulhu Do?) [Eds. note 10/19/01: The link to WWCD is dead and has been pulled.].

12201999 We have sent in our room request for CONvergence 2000. Gods willing, we will have a poolside cabana at the St. Paul Radisson over the 4th of July. Then we can party, drink coffee, and watch Re-Animator films until our heads explode.

12161999 Even though Chaosium said that the Cthulhu doll would take 4 - 6 weeks to travel to my home, it's already here! Wow! Believe me, you'll want one of these for yourself.

12141999 I found a very, very cool thing on the web. Chaosium makes a plush Cthulhu doll (shown at right)! Check it out and get one for yourself! I am! They're going fast, too! (The image is from Chaosium's site.)

12131999 I sent a short and sweet letter to Chaosium (the company who makes the "Call of Cthulhu" game) asking for their copyright information. Cthulhu Coffee has yet to sell merchandise, but I would like to make sure that we're not stepping on toes legally if we ever decided to do so.

In Brief

First update in two years! Unfortunately, the update says that this site will no longer be updated. Click here for more details.

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