Okay. Here they are. They're what you have been waiting for all year. These are all of the slogans that graced our signs at CONvergence 2000. Click on the linked slogans to open .pdf files of the corresponding posters. Click here for the 1999 slogans, or here for the 2001 slogans.
Oh, yeah, and one more thing... If you print one of these out and put it up someplace interesting (like the president's limo, the Eiffel Tower, Jennifer Lopez's butt...), send us a photo! We'll put it up (with all due credit noted) in the News section, and all Cthulhu-fandom can revel in your glory. (Legal-ese time: Remember, be responsible and sensible. We're not to blame if you get shot, burnt, sued, or otherwise maimed or wounded because you were trying to do something dumb with a Cthulhu Coffee sign.)
Got Lovecraft? (separate posters, with the slogan accompanied by photos of Janet Reno, H. P. Lovecraft, Bill Gates, Rush Limbaugh, Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator), The Pope, The Partridge Family, The Brady Bunch, and Pikachu. Originally, each of the photos on these signs had fluorescent green moustaches drawn on them. Since we assume your printer might be black & white, we left off the green moustaches for printing ease. You will have to add your own "slime moustaches" with a green marker for the full effect. Green highlighters work great, but glow-in-the-dark paint looks the coolest.)
Have you hugged your cephalopod lately?
He's a squid. He's horrific. Boogie oogie oogie.
Hot, frothy evil.
I love the smell of chaos in the morning.
The Java Witch Project: "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to put cream in it. I want to apologize to all the Elder Gods. I'm so, so sorry."
I've got a bad feeling about this.
In case of accidental ingestion, ... oh, well.
It goes to 11.
It proves you don't need flesh for scar tissue.
It puts the die back in diet.
It's 3:30 AM. Do you know where your sanity is?
It's not a tumor.
It's not funny until someone loses an eyestalk.
It's not what's in the cup, it's who's in the cup.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to Starbucks.
Keep away from pets.
Laugh all you can, monkey boy.[sic]
Life is now even shorter.
Life is uncertain.
Look ma, no hands... feet... elbows...
Making tomorrow impossible.
My god, it's full of stars.
No gag reflex.
No, we're not the real Slim Shady.
Not even a natural 20 will save you, fanboy.
Not even Scotty can save you now.
Now available in decap.
Only the good die young. We like it that way.
Pay no attention to the gibbering thing behind the curtain.
Roll that beautiful bean footage!
Save the chickens. Collect the whole set.
So many brains, so little time.
Still legal in 13 states. Hurry.
The best part of waking up is lurking in your cup.
The gods must be crazy. Yeah, and?
There can be only one.
These are not the gods you are looking for.
This coffee will self-destruct in 5 seconds. Cc:2
...to boldly drink what no one has drunk before.
To infinity and beyond.
Vacuum packed... for your protection.
Wake up and smell the evil
We bring good things back to life (Make a note!)
We know what's in Spam
We know why the clocks melted.
We will tear your Pokemon apart!
We're all in a spaceship called earth. Guess who's driving.
We're behind those weird frogs.
We're the coffee your mother warned you about.
We're the enabler.
What do you want to be today?
When he wakes up, he's gonna want his coffee.
Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill?
WWCD - What would Cthulhu drink?
Yo quiero Cthulhu.
You'll see dead people, too.
|2003 More slogans and posters than you can shake a stick at, and believe me, we tried!
2002 200 more slogans and posters for your nefarious plans!
2001 All the latest slogans and full-color posters.
2000 All Y2K slogans, plus .pdf files of the posters.
1999 The first year of Cthulhu Coffee slogans.
First update in two years! Unfortunately, the update says that this site will no longer be updated. Click here for more details.