Frequently Asked Questions
Frequently Asked Questions
Cthulhu Coffee Home
About Cthulhu Coffee
Where can I find Cthulhu Coffee?
When can I have Cthulhu Coffee?
Why did we do it? Dear God, why?
Who are these people?
How can I contact Cthulhu?
Clue for the clueless
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Click the topic below to jump to the answer.

Where is the nearest Cthulhu Coffee shop?

There are no shops. Cthulhu Coffee is not a coffee purveyor. Cthulhu Coffee is a web site. Cthulhu Coffee is a group of bored Minnesotans who go to conventions every once in a while and throw a party. Cthulhu Coffee is a recipe, something you can make out of any brand of coffee (see the Recipe Box). Cthulhu Coffee is NOT a brand of coffee. Cthulhu Coffee is NOT a coffee shop. And we don't plan to sell coffee, either.

Where can I drink the sheer madness of Cthulhu Coffee?

Most of the year, we exist only as a web site. However, on the weekend after July 4th every year, we attend CONvergence, a science-fiction convention in Minneapolis, MN. In recent years, we he have been hosting a room party there, and you are welcome to drop in. We also make occasional appearances at other conventions. Watch the News page to see where we are planning to go next.

Can I use this/that/the other thing from your web site?

Original images and text from this web site may be used with permission (and, of course, proper credit given). Please contact the web minion for further information.

The .pdf files of the Cthulhu Coffee posters may be printed for personal use only.

Can I link to you guys? Do you have any banners?

Of course, please feel free to link to us! We have only a couple guidelines:

  • If possible, please link only to this address: If you must link to a sub-page, please also include a link to the main page.
  • Please e-mail the web minion and let us know that you are linking to our site. We like to link to people who link us! We also are lonely folk who like to hear from people in distant lands.
  • Feel free to use a banner or graphic below. If you want something special or custom for your site, just e-mail the web minion and ask nice (sacrifices of goats are no longer required for custom banners).

Are you evil/Satanists/heathens/pagans? Who is Cthulhu?

No, and if you think otherwise, you haven't been reading enough. Cthulhu is a joke. The concept of Cthulhu was entirely fabricated by author H. P. Lovecraft in the 1920's. No religion worships Cthulhu, just as nobody practices The Force; however, they are both part of modern pop psyche.

Of course, this would be a nice lead-in to an attack on the Church of Scientology (also created by a pulp author), but I won't go there.

I represent a magazine/convention/web site. Would Cthulhu Coffee like to speak on a panel/do an interview/host a party/do a graphic for our site?

Generally, the Cthulhu Coffee group is incredibly difficult to get together as a whole (I don't think it's ever been accomplished, actually -- we still have members who have never met). However, several of us are gluttons for punishment and love to help out if we can. E-mail the web minion, and she will put you in touch with the most relevant people in Cthulhu Coffee.

Is your web minion for hire?

Yup! Actually, artistic and web design services are available from both Melissa (Cthulhu Coffee's web minion) and Ted (whose talents are showcased on the lovely, among other things).

In Brief

First update in two years! Unfortunately, the update says that this site will no longer be updated. Click here for more details.

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